Je suis fatigue

“Comme ca va?” Ca va comme ci, comme ca mais je suis fatigue.

Um English please Patrick.

Sorry anyways, what I said was that I’m ok but I’m tired. But what are you tired of and why?

I think it’s obvious but I’ll spell it out for you.

I am tired of this virus. Seriously. It has been an entire year. And there is no end in sight. I’ve heard that there is a chance this virus may be endemic much like HIV. I do not wish for that to be the case. I wish that our country took this damn virus more seriously when it started spreading. I don’t wish to sound like a debbie downer (ironic) but I am tired of having to wear masks. I don’t hate them, but it looks silly trying to perform with a mask shoved up into your eyes and fogging your glasses when performing. I miss performing with full orchestras. I especially hate Zoom. Seriously. Not only is it a pain in the ass to have to sign into a meeting, it’s also the worst thing ever for lessons. Not to mention I don’t like people looking into the background of my screen. I hate not having live audiences for performances. This is a catch 22 for me. On one hand, I pretend that people don’t exist in the audience. On the other, seeing a crowd can hype up a performance. But I guess it’s not the worst thing. I never was one for large parties anyways. Still, all the places I used to frequent are now epicenters or shut down entirely. And that is depressing. Who knows what the future holds? I sure don’t but if I am to make a hypothesis, I wouldn’t consider this a new year. I’ve seen memes that say the date of today is 14/3/2020 and honestly I’ve never related so hard. To me, 2021 doesn’t exist because nothing has changed macro wise. And perhaps, this is the reason why I’m so tired.