Breaking Point

I find myself yet again sitting in front of my laptop pondering what the fuck I should do? Quite bluntly, after all of my calculations for income this year, a terrifying realization dawns upon me, I don’t make enough money to cover my rent. Despite all of the places I play at, it’s not enough and now I find myself at a breaking point. How the fuck am I supposed to increase my income to not have a metaphorical guillotine looming over me? I have exhausted all of my options and currently see no way out even though I have started teaching again as of today. Do I really have to kill myself again essentially working 60 hours plus in order to survive? I have a rent payment looming over me I need to pay tomorrow (the rest of my utilities can wait) or else. This is the main cause of my sleepless nights and my hair going white. I wish I could just practice and compose all day. I wish I could I go take auditions or go on vacation. My apartment is falling apart, holds exactly zero heat, and there are other problems as well. I suppose I could ask for financial help but 1) my credit sucks, 2) I can’t exactly acquire a loan (due to reason number 1), and 3) I am seriously considering selling my instrument in order to survive. I have a constant headache and a lack of motivation currently. I suppose I could ask for help but quite frankly, I’m not holding my breath. Anyways, if you can help me not be another statistic of the US that would be wonderful.

PayPal - patrickjamesprejean1994@proton.me

Venmo - @patricksviola

CashApp - $patricksviola

ChimeSign - $patricksviola